UndercoverQueer


Unicorn Panties
April 23, 2010, 2:47 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , ,

It is not on her lap where the horn rests

but deep in her moonpit

growing.

-Audre Lorde

On our wedding night, I gave my partner a pair of unicorn-printed, lace-trimmed pink panties.

They were not the first panties he’s owned, or even the first pair I’d given him. They were, however, the fulfillment of a dream he’d had since childhood: to own a pair of panties with unicorns on them.

My partner loves unicorns with a zeal that might only be rivaled by that of a shut-in crypto- zoologist, or possibly a seven-year-old connoisseur of Disney movies. Maybe it was the steady diet of fantasy film – stories about princesses and magic crystals and talking hawks and yes, beleaguered unicorns – he maintained for much of his young adulthood. As a male child, he wore underpants printed with cartoon superheroes or turtles with nunchukas, guys with square jaws and pronounced muscles and utility belts. But half the time, he tells me, he would rather have been wearing lacy, pink, little-girl underwear with floral or princess or pony (yes, sometimes horned pony) prints.

It wasn’t till he was grown that he realized he actually could wear unicorn panties if he wanted to. Unfortunately, they happen to be rather hard to find in adult sizes, unless we’re talking about a unicorn print on a banana hammock with the word “horny” emblazoned across the hindquarters. Those aren’t panties for adults who want to wear pretty unmentionables; they’re bachelor party gag gifts.

So that evening I unveiled his brand new, first ever unicorn panties, and we both wore lingerie.

While there’s nothing inherently queer about cross-dressing or even about the subversion and switching of stereotypical gendered behavior, role exchange – or just call it role obliteration – is a huge part of what can be termed “queer theory.” We’re not interested in just switching what a boy can do but a girl can’t – we’re saying everybody can do that, whenever they feel like it, whether boy or girl or neither or both. And while role subversion often involves an exchange of perceived power and control, we’re trying to disengage the notion that sex needs to involve an uneven balance of power in any way. Everyone should be in control, everyone should be fully involved, and everyone should be into it. And if not, no one should be making you feel guilty about it.

I love seeing my partner in panties, but my favorites will always be the unicorn panties. Whenever he decides to wear them, I hold that secret inside me for the day, and I can’t stop smiling to myself.

Next post: something about the incongruity of queer weddings

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1 Comment so far
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I cross-dress frequently. It’s one of my favorite things to do.

Comment by Shanti Perez




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